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Iron Man 2: A pre-review!

by Adrian Barnes on 06 May 2010
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 I was talking at my younger son this morning; he was bemoaning the 'obvious' ending to a book he'd just read for school. Smiling paternally, I proceeded to beguile him with a short but valuable lecture on the nature of 'story'. Should we really expect stories to end unexpectedly on a regular basis? Is it necessarily a good thing when the good guy doesn't get the girl or the bad guy gets away with murder? A big part of the fun of stories is the predictable ritual of fulfilled expectations. Knowing what's going to happen can be part of the fun. Sometimes. Which brings me to Iron Man 2 and this 'pre-review'.

I'm a fairly big fan of the first Iron Man movie. Walking into the theatre two years ago, I was already a solid Robert Downey Jr. fan (Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is essential viewing)--the man has never met an unstealable scene. So the prospect of Downey in a super-suit of uber-iron was a no-brainer for me. And the movie delivered: fast, funny, and fun to watch. Plus, as a recovering comicoholic (having relapsed a couple of years ago when my kids started reading them) the appearance of Nick Fury at the end sent shivers down my spine, portending, as it did, the upcoming Avengers movie. 

All in all, a great summer film. I gave it 8/10. Naturally, the rest of the world agreed with me and the movie was a massive hit. 

Equally naturally, here comes the AC/DC-powered sequel. Iron Man 2 starts its run this Friday. And what sort of a movie will it be? Let me tell you.

First off, it can't be as good as the first one. Downey does smart-mouthed jerks really well, but he can only do them one way, so Tony Stark is bound to be a little less fresh this time than last time around. And unless he marries Ginger, or whoever that girl played by that vapid actress is, their endless flirtation is bound to start grating. The element of surprise is missing--and in a 'big' special effects film, as on Christmas morning, surprise is pretty key. So let's drop my rating from an 8/10 down to a 5/10.

Now, the wily corporation behind this sequel wasn't born yesterday. It has a lot of money at stake and so has arranged to deal with this inevitable familiarity-inspired letdown by bringing in two pretty credible new actors: Mickey Rourke (who's terrific) and Scarlett Johannson (who's terrific-looking). Roarke will be playing the electric bullhip-wielding Whiplash, while Johannson will be playing an extremely attractive girl in a skin-tight leather cat suit. 'Nuff said, as Marvel Comics primogenitor Stan Lee was (and likely still is) wont to say. 

My suspicion is that this beauty and beast combo (have you seen The Wrestler? If not, then bow your head in shame and do so immediately) will move Iron Man 2 up from a 5/10 to a solid 7.

What else can we hope for? Well, apparently Iron Man has a new helper-bot/sidekick, but this seems slightly suspect to me. If more equalled better, the 101 Dalmations franchise would be up to 112 or 113 of the little critters by now. No, the sidekick smells of desperation. Let's dial the rating back to 6.5. There's also the small matter of the advertising relying so heavily on the 'music' of AC/DC, a band that remind me of the songs Alvin and the Chipmunks would sing if suffering from rabies. Cruel, but you know it's true. 6.

The only other thing I know about the film without having seen is is that there's another Avengers tease in it somewhere. So for old time's sake, I'm willing to bump my rating back up to a 7. [The Hulk, Iron Man, Captain America, and Thor in one high tech movie: I sometimes wake up late at night in a sweaty panic and pray to the ghost of Jack Kirby that I'll live long enough to see that film in 2012 (Mayan calendar permitting)]

I'm pretty confident in this rating of 7/10. About the only thing that could wreck a movie like this for me would be the sort of idiocy that wrecked the second Fantastic Four film by presenting my all-time favourite comic book menace Galactus as...a giant cloud. Four years later I still feel a surge of pain and rage when I think of that...giant cloud. 

I'll likely be seeing the film Friday night and will report back Saturday on whether my pre-review was on the mark or not. I'm willing to be either super-impressed OR super-disgusted. But what the Hell. When it comes to the world of Hollywood movies, they're both equally fun emotional states to inhabit.


 

Comments

 Iron Man post-pre-review.

by Adrian Barnes on 10 May 2010 at about 06:47.

 Iron Man post-pre-review. Okay, I went and saw it and it was about like I figured, but perhaps a little worse. I'll give it a 6. The whole thing felt a little stale, the fun a little laborious. It's like someone held a pretty fun, sort of wild party then next week invited all the same people back and tried to re-stage all the spontaneous quips and conversations. No matter how good a job they did, the results would still be pretty meh. Save us all from Iron Man 3 which will HAVE to be a horror show. All my hopes now rest with the Avengers movie! NOTE: If you see Iron Man 2, stay until after the credits for a special surprise, just like the first time around.--ed.